Naomi – An Unlikely Kindred Spirit #2

When I first came up with the idea to start writing this book, immediately the “where you go, I go” quote from Ruth came to mind.  I was Ruth.  I left my people (USA) and sacrificed to follow my husband (to the Middle East).  I would start with Ruth.  Yes.  Perfect.  So, I started studying and writing with the idea that I was coming from the view point of Ruth… though toward my husband… where you go, I go… to the ends of the earth.  I truly felt this was my motto, albeit with a few bumps in the road.  As I studied and wrote, however, I found a kinship with another character in the story.  One I never even considered.  Funny how that happens.

A brief intro… Naomi lives in Moab with her husband and two sons.  Naomi and her husband were from Bethlehem, in Israel.  Naomi and her husband leave Israel to go to Moab because of famine.  While in Moab for 10 years, Naomi’s two sons married Moabite women and Naomi’s husband of many years and her two sons die.  We don’t know why.  They just die.  She is now left with only her two daughters-in-law.  She is a widow, there is no food in Moab and she decides to go home.  There is nothing left for her in Moab.  She leaves with her two daughters-in-law in tow but she decides there is no point for them to follow her… Naomi convinces one to stay home, but the other, Ruth, decides to follow her…

There are a few things you need to know about this culture that are important to this story.  Men ruled.  Period.  After the betrothal and feast the bride moved into her husband’s families home and that ended the rights of her family of birth to her person or property.  Married women became the legal property of their husbands.  LEGAL property.  That sounds horrible to us westerners, but it still happens a LOT around the world.  However, for a woman, this was not always a bad thing.  Men provided security for women.  And if that woman had sons, it added to her security.  When/if the husband died, her sons were expected to care for her and then her grandchildren, etc.  Marriage provided stability.  But in Naomi’s case… although life started the right way, at some point, things went terribly, terribly wrong.  Her husband dies, her son’s marry foreign women, both her sons die and she is left with nothing – no sons to care for her, no grandchildren to care for her, no money, in a foreign land with two foreign, barren, heathen women.  Everything crashed.

So I got married and yes… said the traditional vows in front of God and a church full of people and to my husband.  Basically, no matter what happens, you are stuck with me or I am stuck with you.  He was exactly what I wanted.  Good looking, hard worker, started his own business (an entrepreneur), had a graduate degree, owned a home… stable.  Life would be perfect!  The first time we moved overseas was exciting.  I was sad to leave my job.  It was a dream job for me, but I was newly married and yes… like Ruth… (ok… Ruth’s husband was dead and she was following her mother-in-law, but you get my point here) I had made the decision that where HE goes I will go and where HE stays, I will stay and His God was already my God.  So, we had that going for us.

By year 11, we had moved 12 times total – 6 international moves and 6 moves in the States, our second child passed away suddenly (that story later), we suffered with lack of money, etc.  My “where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay” had an addendum.  It was “…kicking and screaming and freaking out every other month or so.”  This was not what I bargained for.  This was NOT what I signed up for 10 years ago.  I found myself struggling with resentment with being uprooted constantly, resentment with always struggling with a lack of money and having to ask for money, jealousy toward others and what they had… homes, cars, nice toys for their children, clothes, etc.  The bitterness crept in and came out.  My attempt at stuffing these emotions and feelings inside were fruitless.  I begged God to help me.  I prayed and prayed against these emotions and sinful feelings I was having.  I was reminded of what God said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”  I was losing the battle to anger, bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness.  Wait… I was no longer Ruth.  I had become Naomi, Ruth’s mother-in-law… in more ways than one – I’m ashamed to admit.

When Naomi finally arrived in Bethlehem the town was excited.  After 10 years, Naomi had returned.  But could it be her?  Where was her husband?  Her sons?  And who was this woman with her?  But Naomi corrected the towns people.  She was no longer Naomi.  She was now Mara.

Ruth 1:20, “‘Don’t call me Naomi,’ she told them. ‘Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter.  [Naomi means pleasant or delightful.] I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.’  So Naomi returned from Moab accompanied by Ruth the Moabite, her daughter-in-law, arriving in Bethlehem as the barley harvest was beginning.”

The similarities were glaring… 1.  I was living in Bethlehem.  Yes. The exact same Bethlehem where Naomi and Ruth were living.  The same Bethlehem King David was from and the same Bethlehem where Jesus was born.  2.  I felt much like Naomi… that the Lord had afflicted me.  Naomi’s husband and two sons died.  My son, Jack, died.  It was accidental, but he would not have died had we not been living and working overseas.  We had struggled in so many other ways living overseas and doing what we do.  I don’t want to believe that God afflicted me, but… maybe.  3.  I was holding bitterness in my heart… much like Naomi, and at times I felt hopeless.

The revelation of having more in common with bitter Naomi rather than perfect Ruth was a shock.  I felt like I had been hit in the stomach. Hard.  My mouth dropped open and my shoulders sunk.  When that wave passed, I felt an odd sense of relief.  Yes… I’m not perfect.  Thank God I’m not perfect.  It is a bit of a cliche, but it is true… God does meet us where we are.  He does allow tragedy and heartbreak to come into our lives.  He even allows depression, discouragement, bitterness and anger to come into our lives.  Why?  For what good purpose?  We may never know.  But I believe that he can take our grief and tragedy and bitter circumstances to show us his mighty power or his still quiet voice.  What ever circumstance you are facing or are in the midst of, know that God is there.  He is with you.  He understands.  And, somehow, someway, He is working out your path.  Maybe your circumstances will change.  Or maybe your heart will change.   What you need to know is that God is there with you.  He is your security and your place of refuge.  This is the first lesson I learned.

I don’t think this whole story is about Ruth.  In fact, I think Naomi plays a much larger role in the story than is usually mentioned.  Is she just the one who brings Ruth to her destiny?  Or is she also meeting her own destiny?  Her own purpose?  As I consider that I resonate with Naomi, and knowing the end of the story, I am both relieved and very, very happy that God has Naomi’s purposes in his plans and not just Ruth’s.

There is more to the story… and more to Ruth than first meets the eye.

The second lesson I learned was while running away with Ruth…